Rodney Dangerfield

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Sports

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Marriage

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

Marriage

Last Christmas, I got no respect. In my stocking I got an Odor-Eater.

Humor

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Family

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Family

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

Dating Humor

I had no luck with dating. My big thrill was self-inflicted hickies.

Dating Humor Intimacy

I don't get no respect. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.

Childhood Humor

I don't get no respect. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother.

Childhood Humor